This article was inspired by an episode viewed on a reality TV series where a Wedding Planner was organizing a civil ceremony on the isle of Capri, just off the coast of Naples in southern Italy. Derogatory remarks portrayed the civil ceremony as being ‘medieval’ – read on and judge for yourself.*
Banquets in medieval castles, strolls down the cobblestone streets of ancient villages, flag throwers and mandolin players all set the atmosphere for romance in a fairy-tale journey into the past for an unforgettable Italian Wedding. And while hundreds of years have passed since knights in shining armor roamed the Circus Maximus, the echo of ancient Roman Law[1] governing citizens in the middle ages still rings in the Italian Civil Code today. But it comes as quite a surprise to many couples who choose to unite legally in Italy that those century old articles of law still define the legal process of marriage in a truly modern doctrine for equality and the rights and obligations of the spouses.
A Very Old Ritual
The definition of matrimonium or marriage evolved during the Roman Empire which lasted some 900 years beginning around 300 BC and ending close to 600 AD, and the end result is very different from the stereotypical idea of Italians and matrimony.
Let’s take a little walk through history for the record, through truth and myth ….
Myth: Italians have “arranged” marriages.
Truth: The consent of the parties themselves to marriage was ignored for a long time in Roman Law, but it later became a necessary element of a valid marriage, just as it is today. It is reflected both in the text of the marriage promise or declaration which is signed two to three days in advance and in the act of matrimony itself which is filed at the town hall registry.
Myth: Italians marry their relatives.
Truth: the articles of no impediment to marriage date back to Emperor Justinian ( circa 550 AD), and are still read today when couples sign their wedding promise. These articles include marriage forbidden on account of relationship between ascendants and descendants, siblings, relationships by marriage (step-relatives) and adopted persons even after the dissolution of the adoption.
Myth: The “year of mourning” requirement to re-marry applies only to women and so is unfair.
Truth: Under Roman Law, both the man and the woman were branded with infamia (infamy) if marriage was contracted before the termination of the period of mourning. The modern day application of the 300 day waiting period for women following death of or divorce from a husband is to protect paternity rights of the unborn child in case the woman is pregnant when she divorces or loses her spouse.
Myth: The husband is the boss.
Truth: In Roman Law the term patria potestas gave the husband power over the family with respect to the property and person of his wife, who was under his legal and protective care. It was later changed to read ‘head of household’ and the modern day expression of rights was changed in 1975 with the new Family Law Reform giving equal rights and responsibilities (potesta’ or ‘power’) to both spouses and establishing joint ownership by default unless otherwise decided by the couple through a pre-nuptial agreement.
Myth: Women must take their husband’s surname
Truth: Women keep their maiden name in Italy. (yes ladies, you will sign the Wedding Hall Register with your own last name!)
More Roman Law Trivia…
Engagement was a formal matter involving a moral obligation, though no action was taken in the event either party broke their promise, and it was customary even 1600 years ago for the groom to give the bride a betrothal ring to symbolize his intentions.
Asking for a woman’s hand in marriage comes from the Roman manus (hand) and a justum matrimonium or valid marriage was either cum manu (with hand) or sine manu (without hand). Cum manu meant that power of authority and all property was transferred into the hands of the husband or head of household. Sine manu meant that the husband had no power.
What did all that mean?
Well, it was actually up to the woman and her family to decide whether she would become part of her husband’s family with all of her property, or if she would remain under legal protection of her own paterfamilias, therefore retaining her property with the same rights as if she were single.
Carrying the bride over the threshold also comes from ancient Roman traditions. Following the lengthy wedding celebration, a procession conducted the bride and groom to the home where she was swept off her feet so as not to touch or dishonor the hearth, sacred to the goddess of the home, Vesta.
A Very Civil Ceremony
Couples getting legally married in Italy are amazed at the stateliness of the civil ceremony. ‘Italy really takes marriage seriously!’ commented a guest at a recent wedding in Colle Val d’Elsa, a 10th century medieval village between Florence and Siena historically recognized for its crystal glassware craftsmanship and thus nicknamed the ‘Bohemia of Italy’. The celebrating Councillor was wearing the traditional Italian red, white and green sash for official events and guests sat on period hand-carved mahogany chairs while the articles of law governing the rights and responsibilities of married couples were read in Italian and simultaneously translated into the couple’s mother tongue language. It is these three articles – numbers 143, 144, and 147 of the Italian Civil Code - that reflect the essence of article 3 of the Italian Constitution which states that ‘all citizens have equal social status and are equal before the law, without regard to their sex, race, language, religion, political opinions, and personal or social conditions. By the way, Happy Birthday to a democratic Italy, celebrating its 60th this year!
Here are some comments overheard after Civil Ceremonies in Italy:
‘I’m surprised that the laws are so fair’
‘I didn’t hear a single ‘obey!’
‘I didn’t realize how seriously Italians view marriage and the family’
‘It all seems so official!’
‘I’m really humbled by all this’
Hospitality … Italian style
Colle Val d'Elsa
Italians are very proud to host weddings and some officiants go so far as to dedicate personalized poems or readings to the bride and groom during the ceremony. Most Wedding Halls provide a parchment copy of the Marriage Certificate for framing, along with a small gift to remind them of the fact that their act of matrimony will be filed in the town hall registry – forever! Some towns go so far as to offer a toast to the entire wedding party with snacks and great Italian prosecco, such as Colle Val d’Elsa where couples are also given a wonderful crystal gift handmade by local artisans.
Simple Steps to a civil ceremony in Italy
Legal Civil Ceremonies are held only in authorized areas or Wedding Halls which are usually located at the headquarters for the town government. The buildings have a historical importance for the town and are almost always wonderful examples of medieval, renaissance, neo-classical and even contemporary Italian architecture. Wedding Halls are decorated with period works of art and furniture, walls are often frescoed or lined with priceless paintings and tapestries.
Each town government establishes a fee schedule for residents and non-residents marrying in the Wedding Hall and these fees are subject to change each year. Booking rules are also set by the town government and though times for advance booking may differ considerably from town to town, the typical timeframe is six months prior to the wedding date.
Paperwork requirements focus on certification of no-impediment to marriage from the couple’s country and/or sworn statements/affidavits attesting freedom to marry. All paperwork is submitted to the town hall wedding office when the couple goes to sign their wedding promise two or three days before the wedding date. Although the paperwork is simple and the steps are clear, it is always best to hire a local person to deal with the Italian authorities to make sure the process goes smoothly. This person may also act as translator as required by law for the wedding promise and wedding day ceremony.
Two witnesses are required to be present during the ceremony and sign the official register alongside the bride, the groom and the translator. All must be at least 18 years old and have a valid passport or ID.
Some wedding halls provide music during the ceremony, such as the Red Hall in Florence, though couples may decide to bring their own musicians for a more personal touch.
Photographers are welcome with a reminder not to point flashbulbs directly at any artwork.
Rice and confetti may be thrown outside the town hall building.
* This is the unedited version. A shorter version of this article is published in Italy magazine’s quarterly supplement Dream Italian Weddings and Honeymoons, Winter issue.
[1] Some information was adapted from the following publication: Burdick, William L. The Principles of Roman Law and Their Relation to Modern Law. Rochester: The Lawyers Co-operative Publishing Co., [1938]. xxi, 748 pp. Reprinted 2004 by The Lawbook Exchange.
Tags: civil cerimonies in italy, civil wedding in Italy, getting married in italy, requirements for a civil ceremony in italy, wedding planner in italy, weddings in italy
